Hello World

Hello bloggers!

I’m super new to this whole blogging thing, but I know that writing helps a lot with my anxiety. I also really enjoy reading other people’s stories knowing that I’m not alone, and that I’m not the only one feeling this way.

I thought I would start this blog to perhaps get myself to write a bit more, and in hopes that it might help someone else in knowing that we all go through rough times, and that just because you have an anxiety disorder doesn’t mean you’re crazy. Or maybe I can help someone who’s dating a person with anxiety…I know that can be just as difficult. It’s extremely difficult to explain it to somebody who doesn’t have it. But I can try my best!

I’ll just give you a brief introduction. I do want to stay anonymous, so forgive me if at times I am a bit vague. I am a young woman in my mid-late 20’s who was (officially) diagnosed with a Generalized Anxiety Disorder a little over a year ago. I think I’ve struggled with it for most of my life, but I had no idea what it was. One day I was listening to the radio and one of the DJ’s was explaining her anxiety disorder, and it sounded a lot like me! So I did some research, talked to my doctor, and I was right. I just thought I was a worry wart – turns out there is a little more to it than that. Or a lot!

I tried reading some books and doing a workshop, but was still having major troubles. So I took the scary plunge and decided to start going to counselling. For anybody out there who is afraid to take that first step in going to talk to someone, I’ve been there. I think I filled out the intake form about 4 times before actually submitting, and I even made a few appointments and cancelled until I finally had the courage to go. I’ve now been going on a regular basis for about 6 months, and I honestly look forward to it every time. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made. I know it’s not for everyone, but I also know it’s not as scary as it seems! I’m not cured by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s been very helpful and insightful for me.

I recently decided to go back to school and pursue a Master’s Degree, and the pressure and stress of that has really been wearing on me lately. I find that most of my anxiety is acted out on my boyfriend, even if it comes from many places (this is one of those psychoanalytical things I’ve learned :)). Sometimes I feel as though he gets treated unfairly because I can’t control my bad thoughts.

My intention for this blog is to share some of the anxious thoughts I have. I find verbalizing them and writing them out can help me to rationalize things a bit. I’ve called it diaries of an anxious heart, because like I said, most of my anxiety has to do with my relationship. I know this intro post was pretty boring (sorry!) but I hope it gets more interesting. I just thought I would try another way to feel better and who knows, maybe I can help somebody along the way!

Take care of yourselves,

Anxious Heart